IT’S TIME!
Yes, that time of the year where everyone is posting their vision boards, listing what they achieved, explaining what they did achieve, what they didn't, and what they learnt, I like to call it the Great Audit, a season of reflection, receipts.
Every year leaves a mark on our lives, whether we like it or not. It leaves lessons, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual. Sometimes it rekindles. Sometimes it forces relearning. Sometimes it leads you back to pieces of yourself you had set aside, pieces you forgot existed, pieces you didn’t even realize you were missing.
I like to categorize my years while recapping, and 2025 was the year that grew me.
Here are some of the things I learned this year.
1. Letting go of control
Letting go of control was one of the hardest lessons this year.
I like plans. I like structure. I like knowing outcomes before they happen. I create scenarios in my head to calm the anxiety of uncertainty. That doesn’t make me controlling; it means I like feeling prepared.
This year forced me to confront how much I rely on control as a coping mechanism. When things didn’t go according to plan, I had to sit with the discomfort instead of trying to fix, force, or predict my way out of it. I learned that control is often an illusion, and holding onto it too tightly only creates more anxiety.
2. Not everybody will like you, and it's OKAY
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
— Dita Von Teese
This year reminded me that not being liked doesn’t equal being unworthy. Some people will misunderstand you. Some won’t choose you. Some will simply not be your people, and that’s okay. Once I stopped internalizing rejection, life became lighter.
3. Learning to validate myself
This year specifically made me confront something I’ve quietly battled for a long time: my need for validation. When making decisions, I often felt the urge to hear someone say, “You’re doing the right thing,” or “This makes sense.” Not because I lacked opinions, but because I didn’t fully trust them. Somewhere along the way, I learned to doubt myself.
This year, I became more aware of it. I caught myself before asking for reassurance. I sat with my choices longer. Sometimes I still went back to seeking validation, and I had to remind myself not to be too hard on myself. Old habits don’t disappear just because you’ve named them.
What matters is that I’m trying. I’m learning to trust my voice a little more. And I’m proud of myself for that.
4. If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it
Some spaces are not meant to be home. You can try harder, give more, adjust yourself endlessly, and still feel out of place. This year taught me that belonging cannot be forced. Some rooms have already decided their seating.
Walking away isn’t weakness. It’s self-respect.
5. I am not perfect, and I also hurt people
This lesson humbled me. Being human means making mistakes. Sometimes we hurt people knowingly. Sometimes unknowingly. What matters is how we respond, whether we take accountability, apologize sincerely, and grow from our mistakes. Growth isn’t just internal. It’s relational.
6. Gratitude
We focus on what’s going wrong and completely overlook what’s going right. When life feels heavy, the good things often seem too small to count: a quiet day, a moment of peace, a task completed, a laugh shared. But small doesn’t mean insignificant. It’s still something. And it’s still worthy of gratitude.
I learned this from a creator, Shera Mugo, through her Gratitude Sunday series. Watching her consistently name the good, even on difficult weeks, helped me start a culture of gratitude in my own life. Not forced positivity, not denial, just intentional noticing. Gratitude didn’t change my circumstances overnight, but it changed how I carried them. And sometimes, that makes all the difference.
Gratitude grounded me.
7. You will get over it
I once wrote journal entries filled with panic, pain, and disappointment, convinced I would never move on. Looking back now, I feel… nothing.
Life reminded me that emotions are temporary. Pain doesn’t stay forever, even when it convinces you it will.
8. Just do it
Yes, it’s cliché. But it’s true. I delayed starting things for years, like posting on my TikTok page, waiting for the perfect timing, better tools, or more confidence. This year, I started posting. I showed up imperfectly. I built a community.
Perfection is a myth.
9. Compromising your worth has consequences
Some things are non-negotiable. Your values. Your goals. Your standards. People may question them. They may call them unrealistic or foolish. That’s fine, it’s your life.
The cost of compromising is high. That small thing you let slide always comes back to remind you why you shouldn’t have.
10. Cultivating friendships matters
Some friendships deepened. Some faded. Some taught me lessons. Friendships require intention, honesty, and effort. This year reminded me that nurturing the right relationships matters just as much as releasing the wrong ones.
11. The world isn’t always fair
You can do everything right and still lose.
Life isn’t always fair, but it keeps moving. And so must we.
12. This too shall pass
If you’re struggling, it will pass. If you’re hurting, it will pass. It may take time. It may take tears.
But one day, you’ll look back and realize you survived something you once thought would break you.
2025 didn’t give me everything I planned for. Some things turned out better, others fell apart completely. But I’m grateful for the experiences, the lessons, and the growth it brought. It met me where I was, and quietly helped me become who I needed to be at this particular point in my life.
As I wrap up this Great Audit, I can look back and say: even with all the highs, lows, and in-betweens, 2025 was worth showing up.
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