It’s Not That I Didn’t Want It — I Let Fear Talk Me Out of It 😔

 I was doing my mid-year check the other day—just sitting with myself, thinking through the things I’ve done, the ones I haven’t, and the ones I’ve quietly let go of. And somewhere in the middle of all that reflecting, it hit me.

So many of the things I didn’t start, didn’t pursue, didn’t speak about... weren’t because I didn’t care.
They weren’t because I wasn’t ready.
It was just fear.
Just fear.

Not lack of talent. Not lack of time. Not even lack of opportunity.
Just that quiet, choking fear that creeps in and whispers, “What if you fail?”
“What if they see you mess up?”
“What if you’re not as good as you think you are?”

I started thinking about how many things I’ve buried because of that.
Ideas I abandoned. Dreams I shelved. Words I swallowed.
Because I was scared of being seen.
Scared of being misunderstood.
Scared of not being enough for the very things I wanted most.

And it’s painful when you finally sit with it.
Because you realize it’s not the world that held you back—it was you.
Your own fear. Your own voice talking you out of trying.

I don’t think we talk enough about that.

The fear of starting.
The fear of failing.
The fear of being perceived when you finally step into the light.

Sometimes I want to do something so badly—but I freeze.
Not because I don’t believe in it, but because I start overthinking everything.
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if it’s cringe?
What if people talk?
What if I’m actually the one holding myself back?

And maybe you’ve felt this too.
That feeling where you shrink yourself before the world even gets a chance to.
You kill the idea before it can breathe. You silence yourself before anyone else does.
You don’t even give yourself a chance.

That’s what fear does.
It convinces you to protect yourself from pain by avoiding possibility.
But in the process, you lose. Every time.

So maybe this is just me saying—I’m tired.
Tired of hiding behind “I’m not ready.”
Tired of choosing safety over growth.
Tired of pretending I don’t care just to protect my ego.

I don’t want fear to keep winning.

Even if I’m scared, I want to start.
Even if I fail, I want to try.
Even if I shake, I want to speak.

I want to know what’s on the other side of trying.
Because regret? That one stings deeper than any failure ever could.

And the thing about fear is…
It won’t stop things from going wrong.
It’ll only stop them from ever happening at all.

“Fear doesn’t shout. It whispers until you forget you ever wanted more.”