When Did Fear Become Our New Normal? 💔

 "Girl make sure your location is turned on", "Can I run in this outfit?", "Can anything in this bag act like a weapon ?", Bestie, do you think this is too revealing ama I should just cover up more?",  “Hey, bestie, maybe we can start morning or evening runs together—what do you think? Wambui, Kwani you didn't hear about the babe who was stabbed while cycling also there was another babe who was raped during her morning run. I think we should just stick to the gym " These are the normal conversations among women in Kenya, reflecting an unsettling reality. It’s funny how we moved from, “Can I dance in this outfit?” to “Can I run or fight in this outfit?”.

 Every day feels like a new chapter in a horror story, one that never seems to end. Over the past three months alone, more than 100 women have been killed, and instead of recognizing this grim statistic as femicide, the police treat these deaths as just another wave of ordinary crime. Each report, each statistic, should be a rallying cry for change, yet our leaders remain largely silent. The women representatives, whose very title implies a duty to protect and uplift women’s rights, seem preoccupied with other issues. It’s heartbreaking that when the crisis began in January, their voices were as good as their services -non-existent, and now that the situation has worsened, they continue to evade the pressing concerns of gender-based violence.

Being a girl is exhausting. I saw a TikTok of a girl who decided to go on a solo date to a place she used to visit often. The area looked deserted, and the comments flooded in, filled with worry and concern. People asked, “Why would you go alone?” and offered to join her if she ever decided to try again. The underlying message was clear: she shouldn’t be alone. When did we reach this point where going out requires a group for safety?

It’s exhausting to always worry about your safety. Just the other day, a woman was attacked and stabbed while cycling, and her life altered forever by violence that should never have been inflicted upon her. Such stories pile on top of the countless others we hear of women being harmed, sometimes even by those who claim to love them. So many deaths stem from the very relationships that should provide safety and love, resulting from gender-based violence that has become all too common.

With each incident, the weariness grows. The fear that grips our hearts when we step outside is suffocating. We scan our surroundings, clutching our phones, keys poised between our fingers, and question every outfit choice. We see ourselves becoming smaller, adapting our lives to fit into a world that feels increasingly hostile. The pain is deeper than the fear; it’s the knowledge that we’re not just fighting for our safety—we’re fighting for our right to exist freely, without harassment, without fear. Each woman killed is not just a number; she is a sister, a friend, a daughter, a future full of possibilities snuffed out. And in a society that continues to normalize violence against women, we must ask: when will we say enough is enough?

We should not have to change our behaviors or modify our wardrobes to protect ourselves from a world that refuses to take a stand against gender-based violence. Women deserve to walk freely, to run in whatever outfit they choose, and to enjoy life without constantly worrying about their safety. It is time for us to rise, to demand accountability from our leaders, and to support one another in this fight. Let us not allow fear to dictate our lives, and let us hold those in power accountable for their silence. Because when we say “enough is enough,” we mean it—for every woman, everywhere.

In memory of all the women we've lost.🤍🤍  May they rest in peace. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them🕊🕊 

Wambui Kamau