When 'Almost' Becomes the Only Word You Know 😶💔

It’s been over a month since I last shared anything here, and honestly, it feels like an eternity. Writing has always been my safe space, my way of making sense of the chaos around me. But for the past few weeks, even that felt out of reach. It wasn’t just writer’s block; it was life—hitting me from all sides. And as I sit down to write this, I can’t help but reflect on this rollercoaster of a year. With everyone sharing their 2024 Wrapped—celebrating wins and milestones—I’ve been quietly reflecting on my own journey.

2024 hasn’t been the easiest year for me. Sure, there were moments of joy, and I’m deeply grateful for the wins, but honestly, they often felt overshadowed by heartbreaks, disappointments, and "almosts."

Almost successful.
Almost recognized.
Almost there.

Like many, I began this year full of hope—dreams and plans that I truly believed in. Writing was at the heart of it all. I’ve been doing this for some years, and while the path hasn’t been a straight line, it always felt like I was inching closer to something meaningful. But this year, it felt like things fell apart more often than they came together. Early on, I lost a large part of my work when a website I wrote for rebranded and removed all the old content. My articles, my time, and my effort—gone in an instant. That hit me hard. It felt like everything I had built was erased, and I had nothing to show for all the hours of work I’d poured into it. For a while, I couldn’t bring myself to write.

Then came the rejections. I finally found the courage to start over, only to watch my submissions get passed over time and time again, while others seemed to thrive. The frustration was real, and once again, I found myself retreating. The only writing I did was here, in this space, where it felt like my thoughts mattered and where, even if no one else was reading, I could validate myself.

Eventually, I landed another writing gig, but after a few articles, the website was suspended, and just like that, I was back to square one. Seeing others thrive only made it harder to ignore the self-doubt creeping in. Was I not doing enough? Was I not good enough? The writer's block felt heavier, and my once natural love for writing felt like a distant memory.

But the hardest blow came when I had the chance to pitch ideas for a gig I truly believed was my big break. Someone gave me hope, promised me an opportunity, and I felt like I was finally on the verge of something great. I poured my heart into those ideas, only for them to disappear—no explanation, no follow-up. I found myself questioning everything. How many times could I give my all, only to have it vanish into thin air? It was tough—really tough. But it made me wonder, when would I finally catch my break?

This year has been filled with chasing dreams only to watch them crumble. A year of near-misses and setbacks that tested me in ways I never expected. Yet, amidst all the "almosts," there were still moments that kept me going. Small victories—times when I sat down to write and felt proud of what I created, even if no one else saw it. Moments when I reminded myself that showing up, even in the smallest way, was an act of courage.

And now, here I am, writing again—trying to find my voice, my spark, and maybe even a piece of myself that feels lost. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that every heartbreak, every disappointment, and every "almost" has shaped me into someone stronger. Someone who refuses to give up, even when the odds seem impossibly high. This year may not have been everything I dreamed of, but I’m still here. Still standing. Still hoping. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough for now.

Here’s to finding joy in the little things, strength in the hard moments, and hope in the spaces where dreams are born. Because, even when the world feels heavy, I believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. The light is there. And I’m walking toward it—one step, one word, one day at a time.

To anyone still here, thank you for sticking with me through the ups and downs. This year may not have been what I hoped for, but I’m still here, still pushing forward. If you’re in a similar place, remember—sometimes the best things come when we least expect them. Keep going, even when it feels like the road is never-ending. We're all figuring it out, one step at a time. Here's to staying true to ourselves, no matter how messy the journey gets.