Seats of Unacknowledgment🚫

 Imagine You're at an event, scanning the room for a place to sit. You spot a table with familiar faces, you pull out a chair and take a seat. As the conversations unfold, you feel a familiar feeling, a familiar pang of being ignored, disregarded, and taken for granted. This table is one you've encountered before, where you've been breadcrumbed with just enough attention to make you feel ' important ' but you are not truly valued. Despite knowing from past interactions that their interest in you is superficial, you remain because the comfort of the familiar and the illusion of being valued is easier than facing the uncertainty that comes with looking for something better.

Each time you leave these events, you are left feeling hurt and angry at yourself. You wonder why you allowed yourself to fall into the same pattern, believing it might be different this time . Yet deep down, you know it's the same old story you will still receive half-hearted gestures and empty reassurances. This pattern leaves you feeling disappointed and questioning why you keep settling for less. 

We often cling to such tables because we see certain people as our opportunity givers or destiny connectors. We convince ourselves that enduring their disrespect and settling for less is a 'small' price to pay for potential opportunities, but the truth is small is an understatement of the hurt that comes with questioning our worth, dealing with self-doubt, and feeling inadequate. 

No matter the number of times you return to that table the reality is that they are unlikely to ever truly see your value and it's fine. Most of the time their acknowledgement is superficial, meant only to keep you around rather than genuinely engage with you. The effort to convince yourself that this time will be different or it has been longer so maybe they changed🤡 is often futile, as they are not likely to change their ways or even give you the respect you deserve. Walking away from a table that doesn't serve you is acceptable and it is very necessary since we break the pattern of being comfortable with the unhealthy situations we keep going back to. You have to stand and leave the table even if it means losing the opportunities that you were not even sure of👀. Remember that if they had anything to share, learn from you, and maybe give you guidance in, they had the chance -if not chances -to listen to you, and respect you but they chose not to, it's not your fault. It is their loss for failing to engage and acknowledge you. 

Breaking free from this pattern means more than leaving the toxic negative environment: it's about making a commitment to yourself and refusing to accept less than you deserve. It might be hard, to change but an environment that values you is worth the hardship. Breaking patterns and cycles can be hard but not impossible keep that in mind😉. If you ever feel like you are going back to the pattern ask yourself this: Why settle for being a mere placeholder at a table when you could be the centerpiece of a new, more fulfilling experience? How many more times will you settle for being a mere afterthought when you could be the highlight of a new chapter?

 

"WE BREAK THE PATTERN BEFORE THE PATTERN BREAKS US"

    Colleen Hoover